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第一时间:名师丁晓钟南京大学四级演讲讲义(2)


   

猪外婆:

Dear Kofi Annan,

I am a student from China. I am writing to expand on my personal opinion about the situation of the world peace.

To begin with, there are some factors which do harm to the peace of world. A case in point is: a large-scale war in Iraqi is started by Bush administration. If this war enlarges, it may give rise to a comprehensive war all over the world. Undoubtedly, however, it is an inevitable trend that peace is socially acceptable. The myriad of people have the idea that we need a peaceful environment. Additionally, an army of American citizens accuse Bush of setting armies to Iraqi.

On my personal level, the United Nation must take a leading role to medicate the conflicts of the world. And dear sir, as a peacemaker, you should be respected by a multitude of people. It is beyond doubt that the period of war is coming to an end and a whole new era of lasting peace will turn up. I am fully convinced that you can evoke support of all the countries. I am hoping that the peace of world will come true early.

Respectfully yours,

ZWP

错误:

1. to expand on my personal opinion / to express my opinion

2. started by Bush administration. / launched by the Bush Administration

3. If this war enlarges, / If this war escalates,

4. setting armies to Iraqi / sending troops to Iraq.

5. must take a leading role to medicate / must take a leading role in mediating

Blonde:

November 8,2004

Dear Kofi Annan,

As everyone knows,It is vitally important for people to maintain world's peace and maintain peaceful relations is duty by The United Nations .

However,most country at war and the people at deep fire and water now. such as Iraq war at current ,whenever i am think this,my heart is very ache .I am worry about this people.

So ,I think it necessary to do maintain peaceful relations .

At that time, I am ask you to rescue that people .so that this people are gain freedom. and I hope maintain peaceful relations by The United Nations.

Yours faithfully,

blonde

错误:

1. Dear Kofi Annan / Dear Mr. Kofi Annan

2. It is vitally important for people to maintain world's peace and maintain peaceful relations is duty by The United Nations / it is vitally important for people to maintain the world peace, and the maintenance of it is a duty of the UN.

3. most country at war and the people at deep fire and water now. such as Iraq war at current / most countries are at war and their people live in hot water, such as the current Iraq War.

4. my heart is very ache / my heart aches

5. I think it necessary to do maintain peaceful relations ./ I deem it necessary to maintain ….

6. I am ask you to / I am asking you

7. so that people are gain freedom / so that people will gain freedom

8. I hope maintain peaceful relations by The United Nations. / I hope that the UN will contribute more to the maintenance of ….

您的作文几乎每句话都有错误,考试时候为2分档次作文。加倍努力啊!!!

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王江涛老师
在线名师:王江涛老师
  北京新东方学校国内考试部资深教师,北京大学硕士,曾任职于国...[详细]
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