学生的习作中主要存在下列问题:
1.审题不清,经常出现偏题或跑题的现象。
2.习惯汉语思维,逐字翻译。
3.用词搭配不当,“张冠李戴”。
4.词汇量小,词不达意,拼写错误严重。
5.句子逻辑关系混乱。
6.不善于使用关联词,句子之间的连贯性较差。
具体而言,学生习作中常见的错误有:
(一)指代方面的错误
在使用代词it,he,this,that,which,one等时,前文中应出现明确的先行词。如:“Since we cannot know what particular bit of knowledge a child will need in the future,it is senseless to force him to learn it.”,这句话中,him和it这两个代词都有明确的先行词,分别是a child和knowledge,因此句子的含义非常清楚。可是,不少学生在使用这些代词时,虽然自己很清楚它们指代的是什么,但在作文中却没有交代清楚,结果这些代词非但没有使行文简洁,反而造成了意思上的模糊,让阅卷老师不知所云。
(误)Sometimes teachers will inform students of the heavy burden they have to bear.
(正)Sometimes the teacher will inform students of the heavy burden he has to bear.
【说明】句1中的they既可指教师,也可指学生,属指代不清的。可以把它们中的任意一个改成单数名词。因为单数名词也可以泛指一类。
(二)修饰方面的错误
修饰语应紧靠被修饰的成分,并和它形成正确的逻辑关系。如果修饰语的位置不妥当,就会造出模棱两可的病句。
(误)To keep the air clean, we must move the factories which give off poisonous gases to the countryside.
(正)To keep the air clean, we must move the factories to the countryside if they give off poisonous gases.
【说明】句1要表达的是把有害气体排放到农村,还是把工厂迁到农村去?显然修饰语to the countryside的位置放错了。如句2改变一下结构,就能清楚地表达要表达的意思了。
(三)一致方面的错误
在一个句子内部或紧邻的两三个句子之间,要保持时态、人称、数等的一致。
(误)Whether one enjoys or resents advertisements, we are actually bombarded with it every hour of the day.
(正)Whether we enjoy or resent advertisements, we are actually bombarded with them every hour of the day.
【说明】代词应与所指代的先行词保持人称和数上的一致。句1也可改成Whether one enjoys or resents the advertisement, he is actually bombarded with it every hour of the day.
(四)平行结构方面的错误
这里专指语态、比较级、非谓语形式、冠词用法、可数名词和不可数名词、不定代词单复数以及时态等错误。
1.a.(误)Narrow streets easily cause to happen many traffic accidents.
(正)narrow streets easily cause many traffic accidents. (to happen)
b.(误)A great change has been taken place since then.
(正)A great change has taken place since then.
c.(误)But it may occur some new problems.
(正)But some new problems may occur/arise.
d.(误)Opportunities are only belonged to those who work hard.
(正)Opportunities only belong to those who work hard.
【说明】happen,take place,occur,arise等动词和动词词组一般既不能用作被动结构,也不能作为及物动词带宾语的。但学生作文中类似的错误较多:Our country has taken place a great change in many fields.
2.(误)The pace of our modern life is getting more faster and faster.
(正)The pace of our modern life is getting faster and faster.
(误)Electricity is the most important power in our daily life than other kinds of power.
(正)Electricity is the most important power in our daily life.
(误)Thus our city will be greatly beautiful than it is now.
(正)Thus our city will be far more beautiful than it is now.
【说明】这些都是在使用比较形式时出现的错误。尤其是第1例较普遍。如more easier,more stronger等。
(五)断句方面的错误
一句句子没有结束,又开始新的一句,结果造成句子结构不全,这就成为断句。
(误)TV becomes an important part in our daily life. Because we cannot live without it.
(正)TV becomes an important part in our daily life,because we cannot live without it.
【说明】以because,since,if等引导的从句是不能独立成句的,只能依属于主句,所以不能写成另一句。
(六)连词方面的错误
作文中缺少必要的连词,或错用连词的现象也比较普遍。
(误)One should improve his English,one should overcome difficulties in studies.
(正)If one wants to improve his English,he should overcome difficulties in studies.
【说明】学生在写作中往往意识不到连词的重要,不善于使用连词和连接副词来明确标示出因果关系、转折关系、递进关系等。
(七)搭配方面的错误
学生作文中用词搭配方面的错误也占有较大比例。记得在一次六级作文阅卷中,近千篇作文在表达“上海交通越来越拥挤”这个意思时,几乎没有一篇用 heavier,大多数人用的是The traffic in Shanghai is getting more and more crowded,而traffic是不能与crowded搭配的。
1.(误)However the speed of a car is much faster than that of a bicycle.
(正)However the speed of a car is much higher than that of a bicycle.
【说明】speed只能和high,low,good,top,normal,fantastic,moderate,surprising等搭配,不能与fast,quick,slow搭配。但可以这样说A car is much faster in speed than a bicycle.
2.(误)In the past the price of milk was so expensive that most families could not afford it.
(正)In the past the price of milk was so high that most families couldn’t afford it.
【说明】price只和high,low,inflated,moderate,minimum,original,popular,prevailing,published,reduced,reasonable等搭配,不能与expensive,cheap搭配,但可以说In the past,milk was so expensive that most families couldn’t afford it.
由此可见,要提高对词语搭配的驾驭能力,除了要在平时的阅读过程中多积累,还需要克服中文中诸如“速度快”、“价格贵”、“学习知识”、“人减少”等搭配的影响,避免写出look book或see book这样的笑话来。
(八)误用方面
学生作文中对词语的误用也相当普遍,误用词语不仅不能准确地表达作者的意思,而且也会闹出笑话。
1. (误)With the industrious development,there is a great need for different kinds of energy.
(正)With the industrial development,there is a great need for different kinds of energy.
2. (误)Most big cities are plagued by traffic jams which effect our daily life.
(正)Most big cities are plagued by traffic jams which affect our daily life.
【说明】以上错句都是因为对形容词的辨析不清而造成的。Industrious是“勤劳的”,“工业上的”应为industrial。effect一般用作名词,其动词形式表示“产生、实现”,而这里的意思是“影响”,应换成affect。
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