范文17. My View on Fate
There is no consensus of opinions among people as to the view of fate. Some people believe that everyone is born to a certain that he can not change, while some other people think that every man is the master of his own life.
注：1. consensus 相同意见
2. 第一句话可以套用，如范文18：There is no consensus of opinions among people as to the view of wealth.
3. while 轻微转折和对比，强转折用词but, however 4. master 主人
As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter opinion. There is a saying, “Everyone is the architect of his own future.” Which means one’s fate is decided in his own hands. In fact, no one is destined to a certain fate in his or her life. Those who claim that they were born to fail or be unlucky just can’t realize how much inner strength and ability they have. We must depend on ourselves to changes our lives and make us successful and happy.
注：1. 第一句as far as与I agree重复，把后半句改为the latter opinion seems more reasonable。
2. architect 建筑师，archor 弓箭手
3. In fact 前后是转折关系，之前从正面阐述，之后从反面阐述
范文17. My View on Fate (续)
Let’s take Helen Keller, an extraordinary American woman, for example. When she was only 19 months old, she became blind and deaf. Instead of accepting her misfortune helplessly, she showed great courage and unconquerable spirit in fighting against her destined fate and was awarded the President’s Medal of Freedom in 1964 because of the achievements she had made for helping the blind, the deaf and the speechless. This story tells us that a wise man is always creating his own fate rather than waiting for good luck.
注：1. 本段开始举例
2. Let's take……for example 中间是插入语，表示强调，举例不宜太长。
In conclusion, I believe that everyone is born equal and is the builder of his own fate We can have good fortune only if we take pains and work hard. We should bear the following saying in mind, “Every man is the master of his own fate.”
注：bear sth. in mind：把……牢记在心
范文13. The Way to Success
第二段：Strong will, perseverance and diligence are the three essentials of success. A man of strong will and perseverance always has an inflexible spirit. He sticks to his cause no matter how tough it might be. Dr. Sun Yat-sen was such a man. Many of his attempts failed, but he held to his purpose with firmness and finally succeeded in overthrowing the Qing Dynasty. Diligence means steadiness in one’s work and study. Su Qin stabbed himself in order to keep attentive to studies. Marx often worked 15 hours a day. Life is short and we have many things to do. Without diligence no one can achieve anything.
II、社会热点话题写作逻辑结构
Paragraph 1: (1) 概括性的引出要评论的事物或观点(general);
(2) 具体描述这个事物或者观点(或者是我对这个现象/ 事物的基本看法specific)。
Paragraph 2: (1) 作者对该现象货问题的基本看法，即文章的论点句;
(2) 支持性的细节分论点(至少两点);
(3) 本段总结(可以省略)。
Paragraph 3: (1) 总结全文，定下结论(通常为我的对策或看法)。
四级作文试题2000年1月
Directions:
For this part, you are allowed thirty minutes to write a composition on the topic How I Finance my College Education. You should write at least 100 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:
1. 上大学的费用(tuition and fees)可以通过多多种途径解决。
2. 哪种途径适合我(说明理由)。
How I Finance My College Education
How I Finance My College Education
第一段：首先，应该是用一种描述性的语言引出讨论的重点：
Nowadays/ At present/ Currently/ These days/ Today, tuitions and fees for college students are 【more expensive】 much higher than ever before. How to finance my college education has become a matter of concern.
第二段：有多种的方法，例如：1.向父母; 2.银行贷款 3.打工挣钱
第二段主题句：There are many ways to support my college education financially./ Ways to support my university study financially vary greatly/ are various.
第二段分写：
In the first place, I can get/ gain/ obtain all the money from my parents.
In the second place, I can apply for/ ask for a bank loan, especially set up/ established for college students/ undergraduates.
What’s more, I can find a part time job to earn enough money.
第三段：我所赞同的方法(阐述原因，为何不选其他的方法)。
Personally/ As far as I’m concerned/ In my opinion/ From my point of view/ To my way of thinking/ As I see it, I prefer the bank loan for the following reasons.
For one thing, my parents are not rich enough to afford me.
For another, I will not have enough time and energy to study after finishing my part-time/ temporary/ odd jobs.
In addition, I believe I can hunt a rewarding/ dream job after graduation, and then I will be able to pay off/ pay back/ return/ give back.
Therefore /So /Hence,.....
使文章富有表现力的手段：
1、使用有难度的词汇;
2、使用形容词修饰名词，用副词修饰动词或整个句子;
3、使用被动语态;
4、使用倒装句;(not only... but also...;only...)
5、尽可能地使用名词，而不是习惯中的动词和形容词。
绿化我们的城市
第一段：
近年来，随着工商业的迅猛发展，许多大城市中树木的数量大幅度降低。人们作出各种努力防止树木被砍伐，但是，认识到绿化城市也同样重要。
普通版
Recently, with the development of businesses and industries, more and more trees have disappeared in big cities. We have tried our best to prevent people from cutting trees. But, it is important to realize to make our cities green.
润色版
In contemporary society, while our industries and businesses have experienced a(n) rapid/ fast/ amazing/ marked/ fantastic development, the number of trees in many large cities has declined/ decreased/ reduced sharply/ dramatically. Although remarkable efforts have been exerted to prevent more trees from being cut, the realization of making cities greener is still of great importance.
注：区分industry 和 industrial
绿化我们的城市(续)
第二段：
绿化城市会带来很多好处。其一，绿化城市能够净化空气。科学研究已经证明树木通过吸收作用可以降低大气中碳化合物的含量。其二，它能够美化城市。到处是花草树木，我们会欣然地感到自己置身于美丽的花园中。最后，绿化城市能够带来大量木材，这是解决自然资源短缺的有效办法。
普通版
There are many advantages in making cities greener. First, it makes our air clean. Scientific research has proved that trees can reduce a great amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere through absorption. Second, it adds to the beauty of our cities. With trees and flowers everywhere, there is a pleasant feeling that we live in a beautiful garden and are closer to nature. Finally, it will bring us a lot of timber. And this is an effective way to solve the problem of lack of natural resources.
润色版
What benefits can the program of making cities greener bring to us? First, the air will be cleaner. Scientific experiments have already proved that trees can reduce air pollution by producing a lot of oxygen. This will improve the quality of the urban environment. Second, our cities will look more beautiful. Just imagine the city which is full of trees and flowers. What an attractive garden it is! What’s more, by making cities greener, we can provide our industry with timber the precious natural resources.
绿化我们的城市(续)
第三段：
绿化城市需要全国人民共同努力，人们不仅要广泛认识到城市绿化对城市环境的贡献，还应该同心协力栽植更多的树木并保护它们不受商业使用的侵犯。
普通版
Making cities greener requires people’s efforts all over the country. And people should not only realize that it is important to make cities greener for its contribution to urban environment, but also plant trees and protect them from being used in business.
润色版
Making cities greener requires more than widespread awareness; it calls for an immediate commitment to planting more trees and growing more flowers.
(Making cities greener requires the whole nation’s efforts. And not only should most people gain the awareness of the significant contribution of making cities greener to urban environment, but also make a commitment to the protection of more trees against business.)
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