牛牛幽默英语巧记六级单词A部分（第一期）

Ass

When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing.
When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.
当我取悦我的老板时，我在拍马屁；
当我的老板取悦他的老板时，他是在合作。
注：当你想说某人爱拍马屁时，你可以艺术地说"你真善于和领导合作"。

Assassination

Assassination is the extreme form of censorship[新闻检查]
暗杀是新闻检查的极端形式。
注：如果某个报纸对新闻检查不管不顾，就派人把报纸老板杀掉。

Assimilate

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile[没用的] You Will Be Assimilated.
我们是微软，抵抗无济于事，你们将被消化吸收。
注：模仿微软说话的口气，微软对很多小的软件公司不是兼并，就是消灭。

Astronaut

Student:I enrolled at this college to learn how to be an astronaut.
Professor: hummm. I thought you came here to take up space.
学生：我上这所学校是来学习怎样成为一名宇航员。
教授：我还以为你来这是占空间来了。
注：教授的意思是这个学生除了占地方外，一无是处。

When does a boxer[拳击手] look like an astronaut?
When he sees stars.
拳击手什么时候象宇航员？
眼冒金星时。

Auction

Firefighter: Hey, Chief! There's a 1959 pumper truck being auctioned today. Let's buy it.
Fire chief: What in the world would we do with an old, broken-down fire truck?
Firefighter: Well, we could use it for false alarms!
消防队员：嘿，头儿，今天有一辆1959年的消防卡车要拍卖，我们买了吧。
队长：一辆老破消防卡车有什么用？
消防队员：误报火警时我们用。

Autobiography

Janie: Mom, how old is our car?
Mom: About five years old, honey.
Janie: And what kind is it?
Mom: A station wagon. Why all the questions about the car?
Janie: My teacher told us to write our autobiography.
Janie：妈妈，我们家的汽车几年了？
妈妈：大约5年里，宝贝。
JanieL：什么牌子？
妈妈：旅行车（？）为什么老问汽车？
Janie：老师要我们写汽车传记（自传）。

Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future, has one reached the age to write an autobiography.
只有当一个人完全失去了对将来的兴趣，他就到了写传记的年龄了。
注：所以最好不要忙着写传记。

Avail

There are few sorrows, however poignant[刻骨铭心], in which a good income is of no avail.
不管多么刻骨铭心的悲伤，很少有收入增加后不减轻的。
注：如果邻居被车撞得很重，你得了50万赔偿，你还会那么悲伤吗？

Nicola: I've proposed to four different men without avail.
Nicholas: Next time, try wearing a veil.
Nicola：我向四个不同的男人求过婚都没有成功。
Nicholas：下次，试着戴上面纱。
注：Without avail: 徒劳；Avail 与 a veil(面纱)

Awe

I thought I'd start things off with the "shock and awe" phase of the operation.
我认为我们该开始"震慑行动"。
注：美国攻打阿富汗取名"震慑行动"。如果不分场合乱用"震慑行动"就有点儿好玩儿了。

Axis

Oh my God, the entire axis of boring is in there.
上帝啊，无聊中心在这儿！
注：模仿布什提出的邪恶中心: axis of vice