一、长句短句错落有致
都是短句的作文略显水平稚嫩,写作功力尚需磨炼,都是长句的作文又显得啰嗦冗赘,卖弄不成反到做作。真正的优秀文章应做到长短句搭配合理,难简结合,曲径通幽,平实中见功力。大批考生缺乏写作训练,往往在作文中忽视运用长句或是长句运用不当,因此考生在平时训练时就应该有意识地在每段中都设置出1至2个有特色的长句,如并列句、排比句、主从复合句等,使得文章错落有致、行文流畅并体现出语言功底。
二、主动被动合理运用
在汉语写作思维中,我们习惯于表现动作执行者,当把这种思维应用于英语写作中时,就会出现一个明显的缺陷,因为英文native speaker在写作过程中,更注重事情的执行,所以在他们的文章里,使用被动语态或者不体现动作执行者的句子更多一些。当然,在写作过程中,并不是要一味地追求被动语态的使用,在什么情况下用主动,什么情况下用被动,这与陈述对象有密切的关系,英语写作中强调叙述对象的一致性,所以在实际写作中,一定要合理运用主动和被动。
三、倒装强调适当穿插
强调句式是一种突出重点的有效句式。另外,倒装句式也常用于达到强调的目的。因此,在写作中适当穿插使用强调句和倒装句,不仅可以突出强调重点部分,而且能够丰富句式,起到修饰作用,达到意想不到的表达效果。
四、比较结构巧妙使用
比较结构是英语中使用频率频率较高的一种句式,如果能够恰当地运用,可以增加文章语言的地道味道,对各种类型作文的写作都大有裨益。
五、句式之间衔接紧密
英语中十分重视句与句之间的形合,在写作中即使上下句之间的意义联系紧密,逻辑关系很明显,也不能省略连接词或过渡词,否则就不符合英语的思维与表达习惯。恰当地使用连接词,尤其是表示从属关系的连接词(如who, which, that, because, since, although, if, unless, as if等),不仅能丰富句型,而且可能将意思表达的更加清楚,使句与句之间衔接紧密,意义更加连贯。
【实考作文例析】 (99-6)
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic Reading Selectively or Extensively? You should write at least 120 words, and base your composition on the outline(given in Chinese) below:
1)有人认为读书要有选择
2)有人认为应当博览群书
3)我的看法
【8分作文】
People all know that reading is very important. But people have different opinions towards how to read. Some people say we should read selectively, and other people believe that we should read extensively.
Some people think that reading selectively is very important. First, some books are harmful and not worthy (worth) reading. Second, after work people have do not have enough time to read extensively.
Some people think that people should read extensively. Now, different branches of knowledge are closely related. If one wants to make great achievements, he will have to read books not only in his own field of study but also other fields (concerning not only his own field of study but also other fields of study). Reading extensively can give us experience, and broaden our view.
I think we should read both selectively and extensively. As to bad books, we should never read them. As for good books, we should read as extensively as we can.
【点评】
本文在结构安排上没有问题,通篇看来,也没有出现什么严重的语法错误(斜体部分),之所以只拿到8分,主要是因为句式比较单一,文章显得毫无生气。
首先,长短句搭配不够合理。文章中所用句式比较简单,而且有些雷同,缺少能够体现出语言功底的特色长句,没能很好地将长短句合理搭配使用。首段的引言部分显得苍白无力,除第三段以外,其余各段中无论是主题句还是扩展句句式都比较简单,甚至有些重复。
其次,没能很好地运用被动。首段开头句使用的是主动语态,一方面不太符合书面语的文体风格,另一方面给人感觉过于平淡,如果改成被动结构It is widely accepted that…就会使句子的表达更加贴切。
第三,缺少倒装强调等特色句式。整篇文章中几乎没有使用任何有特点的句式,显得句式单一、平淡无味。
最后,句与句间衔接不够紧密。虽然本文从整体上看行文还算流畅,但很多句子之间只做到了意义上连贯,形式上缺少必要的连接,如第三段的两点理由的陈述,既没有与主题句有很好的衔接,两点理由之间也没有适当的过渡。
【12分作文】
Nowadays, it is generally accepted that reading is of quite (much) importance. But when it comes to how to read, there has sprung up a heated discussion as to whether we should read selectively or read extensively.
Some people are in favor of the idea of reading selectively. First, they believe that it is not how much one reads but what he reads that really counts. In addition, since one's time and effort (efforts) are limited, we (he) should read books that are suited to our (his) interests and needs.
However, those who insist on reading extensively argue that it is through reading extensively that one can broaden his horizon. Only when one reads widely, can he really make remarkable achievements in his study.
In my opinion, we should read selectively on the basis of reading extensively. For one thing, by reading widely we can keep ourselves well informed of as much knowledge as possible. For another, without selection, reading may become aimless and blind, which makes reading ineffective. Therefore, we should combine selective reading and extensive reading.
【点评】
本文虽出现个别语法错误(斜体部分),但结构清晰,句式多变,行文流畅,不失为一篇优秀的作文。
首先,长句短句错落有致。本文中句式多样,,各段长短句搭配合理,如首段中第一句话简洁明了引出事实背景,然后通过when it comes to…句型自然过渡到要讨论的主题。文中对长句的运用,体现了作者较强的语言功底。
其次,主动被动运用合理。本文首句使用被动结构it is generally accepted that…引出普遍存在的事实,恰当准确,符合书面语的文体风格。而文中其他地方尽管没有更多地运用被动语态,也是从实际的表达需要出发,并不影响本文的整体效果。
再次,倒装强调穿插得当。文中穿插了倒装、强调等特色句式,起到了突出强调、增加气势的作用。
第四,句与句间衔接紧密。本文无论从意思上还是形式上都非常连贯,过渡自然,连接词运用恰当准确,整篇文章给人感觉逻辑清晰,浑然一体。
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