大学英语六级写作经典范文及点评
大学生自我创业已经不是一个新鲜的话题了。那么自我创业有何利，又有何弊呢?看过本文之后你就知道了。或许这对面临毕业的你还是个不小的帮助呢!
Self employment
Self employment could bring many advantages. One of the advantages of being self-employed is that the profit the business makes belongs to the owner. If the self-employed person succeeds in business, he has the chance to earn a great deal of money. The profit earned is the reward for the owner’s effort, ability and creativity. Thus, a second advantage is that a person’s intelligence and abilities have a direct effect on the earnings. A third advantage of being self-employed is that a person can control his working hours. While not all self-employed people are completely free, most of them have more control over this area than the salaried people.
However, being self-employed is not without problems. First, being one’s own boss places the responsibility directly on that individual shoulders. Everyone has some weaknesses in a certain aspects. These weaknesses will affect how successful a self-employed person is. Second, though the self-employed can earn considerable profits with a successful business, losses can force them out of business and sometimes, place them in debt. A third disadvantage concerns income security. Self-employed people have no guaranteed wage. Their earnings can vary greatly, depending on business conditions. Salaried people, however, can generally count on continued earnings. In addition, salaried people often enjoy fringe benefits that mean greater peace of mind. One of these benefits may be insurance paid for by the employer that continues the employee’s salary in the event of sickness or accident while many self-employed people do not have such protection①.
[253 words]
行文点评
文章结构简单明了。第一段阐述了自我创业的3个好处。第二段分析了自我创业所存在的问题。
两段中“first, second, third”的使用，不仅使文章在句式上显得条理分明，更在内容上体现了连贯性。
好文妙译
自我创业
自我创业的好处之一是商业利润归创业者所有。如果创业者生意成功，他有可能挣很多钱。这些利润是对创业者努力、能力和创造力的回报。因此，自我创业的第二个好处是一个人的才智和能力直接反映在收入上。自我创业的第三个优势是自己做老板能够支配自己的工作时间。虽然不是所有的创业者都有完全的自由，但是相对于工薪族来说，他们大多数人在这方面拥有更多的自主权。
但是，自我创业并不是一帆风顺的事。首先，做自己的老板把责任直接放到了个人的肩上。每个人在某些方面都会有一些弱点，而这些弱点会对创业者的成功产生影响。其次，自己做老板时，虽然生意成功会带来很大的盈利，但是一旦失败就可能造成破产，有时甚至会负债累累。第三个弊端涉及收入的稳定性。创业者没有稳定的工资。依据生意的状况，他们的收入浮动很大。而工薪族通常可以依靠持续稳定的工资。此外，他们通常可以享受着额外福利，这意味着他们的心态可以更加的平和。其中一项福利就是由雇主为雇员支付保险，以保障他们在生病或遇到意外的情况下还能继续领到工资。相比之下，很多创业者就没有这种保障了。
词汇斟酌
in debt 负债
count on 指望，依靠
fringe a.附加的，额外的;边缘的
佳句临摹
①【注释】in the event of sth万一;倘若
【临摹】In the event of his death Shelia will inherit the money.一旦他故去，希拉就会继承这笔钱。
思如泉涌
Something attempted, something done. 有尝试就会有收获。
Actions speak louder than words. 行动胜于语言。
有些人并非特别聪明，却能得到大家的认可和支持。我们说这些人有个人魅力。个人魅力不仅源于聪明、诚实等优秀品质，还源于与他人交往时的态度和技巧。
Communicating a Sense of Personal Power
Communicating a sense of personal power comes from a belief that you can reach your goals in your own way. Powerful people give others power and encourage others to express themselves openly. You communicate a sense of personal power by developing these traits:
Authority
Authority is inner confidence — a trust in your skills and abilities. It comes from the inside, from an attitude of “I can do that”. “I deserve success”.This attitude radiates outward as you assert your right, honestly ask for what you want and need, and develop a willingness to give to others and yourself.
Being self-assured
Self-assured behavior is active, direct, and honest. It communicates an impression of self-respect and respect for others.By being self-assured, we view our wants, needs, and rights as equal with those of others. A self-assured person wins by influencing, listening, and negotiating so that other people choose to cooperate willingly.
Accessibility
The powerful person is a master net worker. Good networking increases your visibility and gives you a valuable circle of people from whom you can give and receive support and information. Imagine yourself as the center of a wheel surrounded by spokes of contacts.
Image
You communicate power through your image. Do you project an image consistent with strong leadership①? Stand tall and walk proudly, remembering that you have value as a person. When you meet others, make direct contact and keep your handshake firm and friendly. Clearly state who you are and what you do.
Communication habits
Take a deep breath to project a firm voice. Avoid slang, and jargon, and vocal hesitations that can hinder effective communication. Use only the body movements and gestures necessary to make your point, no more. Learn how to write clearly and concisely.
[312 words]
行文点评
文章是总分结构。第一段先说明发挥你的个人魅力的信念来源：你可以用自己的方式实现自己的目标。接着作者从五个方面介绍个人魅力的通常表现，每个方面作者都指明了它对发挥个人魅力的重要性，以及如何做到这一点。
好文妙译
以个人魅力交流
发挥你的个人魅力来源于这样一个信念：即你可以用自己的方式实现自己的目标。有影响力的人赋予他人力量并鼓励他人公开表述自己的意见。发挥个人魅力通常体现在以下几个方面：
威信
威信是内在的信心，即坚信自己的技能和能力。它来自于内心，来自于“我能做好那件事”、“我会成功”的态度。当你维护你的权利，真诚地去寻求你的所需所想，并愿意为他人和自己做出奉献的时候，这种态度就会外露出来。
自信
自信表现为积极、直率和诚实。它表达了一种自尊和尊重他人的意愿。通过自信，我们视自己的需求和权利与他人的需要和权利是平等的。一个自信的人通过影响、倾听与讨论来赢取他人自愿的合作。
亲和力
一个有影响力的人是人际交往的大师。良好的人际交往会使你为人所知，使你周围有一个高层次的人际关系网，从他们那里你可以给予或获得支持与信息。把你自己想象成轮轴，周围由关系的辐条环绕。
形象
你可以通过你的形象来施加影响力。你想象过自己具有极强的领导能力的形象吗?站直，昂首挺胸地前进，记住，作为一个人你自身具有价值。当你与他人会面时，要直接接触，友好而有力地握手。清楚地表达你是谁，是做什么的。
交流习惯
深吸一口气，说出坚定的话语，避免使用俚语、行话，说话不要吞吞吐吐，否则会影响有效的交流。在必要时使用身体语言和手势，多则无益。要学会如何用笔头清晰而简洁地表达自己的思想感情。
词汇斟酌
trait n. 显著的特点, 特性
authority n. 权威, 威信, 权威人士
radiate vt. 放射, 辐射, 传播
assert v. 断言, 声称
negotiate v. (与某人)商议, 谈判, 磋商,
accessibility n. 易接近, 可到达
spoke n. 辐条
slang n. 俚语
jargon n. 行话
佳句临摹
①【注释】be consistent with一致，相符
【临摹】What you said now is not consistent with what you said last week. 你现在说的话与你上星期说的话不相符。
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