I never forget the exceedingly thrilling day when my mother bought me a computer as birthday present, which exerted a tremendous fascination on me so that i indulged myself in googling an army of useful information i had expected ,and enjoy a sea of melodious classic music. That night I was sleepless, feeling that the whole world belonged to me.
exceedingly 替换 very
thrilling 替换 exciting
sth. exert a tremendous fascination on sb 替换 sb. be interested in sth.
google 替换 search
an army of 替换 a lot of
The dawn of the new century witnessed the increasing popularity of computers. Coincident with the advancement of science and technology, computers pouring into the current society as a fashion are appealing to growing individuals. It is no exaggeration to say we have been submerged by them, in large measure!
The dawn of the new century witnessed 是一个精彩句型，用来描述在某个时期发生了什么事情；
Increasing popularity 替换 more and more popular
Coincident with … 非常地道的句型，表达“与…一致”的意思，替换 With …
Advancement 替换 development
Pour into ( flood into / swarm into )替换 enter into
Current ( currently )替换 now
Appeal to sb. 替换 sb. be interested in sth.
Growing individuals 替换 more and more people
It is no exaggeration to say 经典句型， 说某事是毫不夸张的
For a start, we can, freely, search desired information at any moment . Little by little, our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened. Additionally, we can get huge recreations online by chatting, playing games, or delivering email.
For a start 替换 To begin with
We can, freely, search 用了插入语的写作手法
our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened. 用了非常精彩的被动
Additionally 替换 In addition / Besides
Deliver 替换 send
There is no denying that , however, computers can function in the disservice of human beings, in a way, especially the growing violence ,***, porn pictures, AV-films emerging on the screen , which leads quiet a few net citizens to copying.
There is no denying that , however, computers can function in the disservice of human beings, 这个句子有三个精彩之处，首先There is no denying that这个句型，还有however作为插入语， function in the disservice of 替换 do harm to
Emerging 替换 appearing ( fading 替换 disappearing )
Net citizen 网民，属于精彩用词
As a classic proverb goes that no garden has no weeds. Computers do play a positive role in the development of people' lives, despite a slice of unfavorable impacts. We should ,therefore, take advantage of the fruits and avoid the opposite facet.
No garden has no weeds 替换 Every coin has two sides
Computers do play ，do 强调
Positive 替换 important / good 等
A slice of 替换 a part of
Unfavorable 替换 bad
Impacts 替换 effects / influences
We should, therefore, take advantage of … 使用插入语
Fruits 而且fruits 用的非常形象， merits/ virtues) 替换 advantage ( defects 替换 disadvantage )
Facet 替换 aspect
各位同学，上面的作文里有这么多精彩的闪光点，作文怎么会不得高分呢！
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